


Geniuses Who Lose At Children's Board-games

by viralguardian



Category: Doctor Who, House M.D., Iron Man (Movies), Sherlock (TV), White Collar
Genre: Board Games, Comedy, M/M, Rehabilitation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 16:16:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2074725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viralguardian/pseuds/viralguardian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a dark auditorium, 5 geniuses gather together to solve a troublesome problem...and harass their therapist...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Geniuses Who Lose At Children's Board-games

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story a long...long...time ago. It was a little silly idea I had. It makes no real sense, but it certainly made me laugh. I hope all of you enjoy it as much as I did. 
> 
> I warn you, it has not been beta'd.

" Good Evening, everyone!" The cheerful psychologist greeted the group of men seated in a circle in the middle of an auditorium. Each member of the group was sitting in varying degrees of annoyance and irritation, except one. Which, by the way, worried her. Regardless, she took her seat , completing the circle. and sat her notepad on her lap. 

"Welcome to the 'Geniuses Who Lose At Children's Board-games Support Group.' My name is Dr. Rebecca Conners. I will be your support mentor today. " She gave them a grin. "Why don't we start off by introducing ourselves, and describe the game we are tackling."

Two of the men rolled their eyes at her. One of them sighed and stood.

"I believe this has clearly been a mistake. I shouldn't actually be here. I have a world to save, so I'm just going to..." The man said as he turned to leave.

"Have a seat, Mr. Stark." Dr. Conners said in authoritative tone. Mr. Stark visibly cringed then slumped back to his chair.

"Since you are so eager to start off on the right foot," Dr. Conners employed sarcasm."Why don't you start us off."

Mr. Stark sighed and looked around the room at the rest of the men sitting impatiently around him.

"Fine." He crossed his arms. "Hello, my name is Tony Stark of Stark Industries. I lost at Chutes and Ladders."

Tony grumbled.

"What?" The man seated to the left of Dr. Conners asked in disbelief. "Tony Stark? Lost at Chutes and Ladders? Genius Tony Stark?"

"Now, Mr. Havisham." Dr. Conners warned. "We will not be judgmental in this group..."

"How was I supposed to know you could not go up the Chutes? And furthermore, I am Iron Man. I use rockets for flight. Why can't I use them to keep from going down the Chutes?" Tony threw up his hands, clearly ignoring the doctor.

"Clearly because the rockets would melt the Chutes." The man sitting to Tony's left commented as he sucked on a lollypop. Something, Dr. Connors feared, that was the only thing that had been keeping the man quiet. 

"Dr. House..." Dr. Conners began, but was cut off.

"Is he really a doctor?" The man seated to Dr. Conner's right asked. He was seated with the chair backwards and looked way too eager to be there.

"I'm a Doctor too." The man held out his hand. "Nice to meet you!"

"Doctor of what?" Dr. House raised an eyebrow.

"Oh," The man said lowing his hand when he realised the other was not going to shake it. "of Time."

"So you are a Chronologist, then?" The man sitting to Tony's right said as he fiddled with his cellphone. 

"Ack, no. Those people are ghastly. They have no real concept of time, poor souls." The 'Doctor of Time' commented.

"Then what exactly are you then?" Dr. House asked clearly bored already.

"Just the Doctor. Ooh! I'm sorry. I forgot." The Doctor stood up on his chair.

"Doctor..." Dr. Conners exclaimed with surprise holding out her hand for fear he would fall.

"Hello, My name is The Doctor. I am a Time Lord and I lost at the Game of Life." The Doctor said cheerfully.

"How does a Time Lord lose at the Game of Life?" Tony asked as the Doctor sat back down. "I've read your file at S.H.I.E.L.D. Shouldn't you already know the future or something?"'

"You can tell the future?" Mr. Havisham perked up.

"Nah, that's not exactly how it works. To answer your question, the game doesn't work." The Doctor replied.

"Now, Doctor..."Dr. Conners began.

"Of course it works. It's a piece of card board with little plastic pieces. How does it 'not work'?" Dr. House questioned. 

"Life is a path with infinite possibilities and an infinite amount of choices. The game does not adequately prepare a person for Life." The Doctor said exasperated. 

"I don't think that's the point." Mr. Havisham commented crossing his arms.

"If you are so knowledgeable, then tell us what game you lost to." Tony snaped at him. 

"Mr. Stark..."Dr. Conners was yet again cut off.

"Well if you must know..." Mr. Havisham began, but the Doctor interjected.

"Aw, come on. Do it right!" 

"Alright! Hello, my name is Dante Havisham. I lost at Candyland." Mr. Havisham finished.

Tony Stark, Dr. House and the Doctor laughed. Dr. Conners tried to calm them, but they payed her no mind. 

"Hey, It's not my fault I'm color blind in one eye." Mr. Havisham exclaimed in his defense. 

"You are not color-blind." The man seated to Tony's right sighed exasperated as he texted on his cell phone.

"Mr. Holmes." Dr. Conners said determined to not be interrupted. "We spoke about your cellphone usage at this meeting."

Mr. Holmes sighed and sat the phone down on his lap, finally looking up.

"I am too color-blind." Mr. Havisham protested. Dr. House stood up with a small flashlight flipped on and checked Mr. Havisham's eyes before the man could protest.

"Nope, not color-blind." Dr. House diagnosed, before seating himself again. 

"If you are so smart, then what did you play." Mr. Havisham challenged Dr. House.

"I played..." Before Dr. House could continue, the Doctor cleared his throat. Dr. House sighed. "Hello, my name is Dr. Gregory House. I lost at Operation."

"You're a doctor and lost at Operation?" Mr. Holmes said finally intrigued. 

"The game is stupid. In real life we have instruments that are finer then the stupid eyebrow plucker tweezers." Dr. House complained.

"My husband John is a doctor and he can win at Operation." Mr. Holmes laughed.

"I know a doctor and he turns into a big green rage monster. Even the rage monster can win at Operation." Tony interjected. 

"Mr. Stark, Mr. Holmes..."Dr. Conners tried to intervene. 

"What about you, then?" Dr. House threw at Mr. Holmes. "What are you in for?"

"I'm not answering that question." Mr. Holmes said going back to texting on his cell phone. The group was silent a moment as Dr. Conners ran a hand down her face. Mr. Holmes looked up and realized everyone but Dr. Conners was staring at him.

"Fine." Mr. Holmes said petulantly. "Hello my name's Sherlock Holmes and I lost at Cluedo."

"The famous Sherlock Holmes lost at Cluedo?" The Doctor asked laughing. The Doctor's laughter soon had the rest of the men joining in with Dr. Conners looking exasperated. 

"Oh, come on! There were approximately 54 ways the man could have could have committed suicide and framed one of his associates." Sherlock protested.

"Yeah, sure." Tony laughed hysterically. 

"Honestly!"

"Gentlemen, please. Can we focus!" Dr. Conner's voice broke through the laughter. Finally, the group settled down.

"I don't even know why I agreed to this. John was clearly wrong that I could benefit from this. This is a waste of my time. " Sherlock sat back with a huff.

"I second that motion." Dr. House raised his hand.

"I concur." Mr. Havisham agreed.

"I vote shawarma." Tony stood up with his hands raised.

"Enough!" Dr. Conners exclaimed. "Sit down, Mr. Stark!" 

All the men fell silent and gave her their attention.

"What about you, Dr. Conners?" The Doctor asked innocently. 

"We are not here to discuss what games I am good at." Dr. Conners tried to explain calmly.

"Well, if you are not going to share, then how are you qualified to be a psychologist?" Sherlock asked crossing his legs.

"She's clearly trying for our benefit, Mr. Holmes." Dr. House explained with sarcasm. 

"We could try giving her a chance." Mr. Havisham agreed.

Dr. Conners visibly relaxed. Finally, they were going to settle down and let her do her job.

"Then, I say she tells us what game she lost at." Tony said crossing his legs as well.

"Agreed." Sherlock said looking at Dr. Conners. The other three men looked at her as well.

"Fine." She sighed. "Checkers."

The room was deadly silent as all of the men looked at her with big eyes, then laughter roared through the room.

"Checkers? Really? That's what you're here for?" Tony nearly fell out of his chair.

"Alright! That's it! I've had enough!" Dr. Conners finally proclaimed. "You are all dismissed. Go. Leave. Get out of here."

With an irritated huff, Dr. Conners left the room. Slowly, the laughter died down as the men stood up and gathered their jackets to leave.

"Do you think we aught to go after her?" The Doctor asked as they moved as a group towards the door.

"Nope. She'll be alright." Dr. House straightened his collar.

"Do you think that worked?" Sherlock asked Tony.

"Of course it worked. I came up with the idea." Mr. Havisham answered.

"Sure it did." Tony replied anyway. "I seriously doubt that we will ever have to attend sessions like that again."

Tony held the door open for the men behind him to leave through.

"I was serious about the shawarma though. Anyone in? My treat!" Tony offered.

"Actually, I'm not crazy on shawarma." Mr. Havisham declined. "I do like sushi though."

"Sushi it is then!" Tony agreed. The Doctor laughed an threw an arm around Tony as they left.

"Sushi is strange. I had sushi on Givaria once.."


End file.
